Kia ora e te whanau
I love old people! This wasn’t always true. While children and youth terrified me, the seniors in ‘my’ congregations were so often simply ‘space fillers’ – their job being to volunteer where they could and be the funders of ‘real’ ministry – that directed toward the younger generations.
In those early years I rarely visited rest homes. And discovered that this was true of the majority of ministry colleagues. I assumed, incorrectly, that once someone was in care their needs were all being met. They weren’t.
Two events turned me around.
The first was guilt. I remember a couple of stalwarts of the church that I rarely visited once they had gone into care. They had been pillars in the church – always there, always present, loyal and consistent. And they didn’t get from me what they most needed – a regular listening ear and praying hearts and lips. When I did visit, I was sure I could sense a disappointed look of accusation in their eyes. That has continued to haunt me. I felt myself a fraud when I lead their funeral services.
The second was a church split. Right down the middle – numerically, and asymmetrically demographically. We ‘lost’ our young families and youth group – 3 cohorts, and were left with older adults. The following years were consumed with seeking to recover what we had lost – not the same individuals, but the cohorts of children, youth and youngish adults. Nothing worked.
I’m clearly a slow learner – it took me a while to recognise that ‘recovery’ of what we had lost wasn’t going to happen. This is the situation in which most of our congregations currently find themselves – significantly aging, rapidly diminishing in numbers, and pining for the return of young families and youth.
When we recognised that a ‘church of seniors’ is what God was doing – rather than a liability, a sign that God had moved away – we saw such a demographic as a real and positive ‘kingdom of God’ asset, and that opportunities potentially abounded.
I’ll pick up this theme further next week.
Leadership & Personal Development Resources
Fading From The Pews – The Departure Of Older Church Members
This article comes from a fairly conservative source, one in the American church. Thom Rainer is a ‘Church Consultant’ – a role that doesn’t figure much in our context. He has some valuable things to say – as to why, not just the young, but also older people, drift away from church. I have been prompted to post this, as, over the last week, I’ve had two former parishioners wanting to secure my commitment to take their funerals when the time comes. Rainer clearly lays out the significant, often unanticipated, negative consequences for congregations when seniors quietly withdraw – no noise, no dramatic announcements, they just stop showing up. It’s a wakeup call for us to look after the seniors among us more intentionally – for many of our congregations this will constitute most of our people. The article can be accessed here: https://religionunplugged.com/news/2025/10/15/fading-from-the-pews-the-overlooked-departure-of-older-church-members
An extraordinary life comes down to these two choices
Facing the next stage of life poses some real challenges. Not only, what is it I want, but, what is it I bring, what can I offer? Oppong (author) suggests that to get the life we want we need to select one of two paths – to be either the virtuoso (he never uses this word) in one thing, and hope that it’s still useful, or mastering meta-skills (things we’re very good at) which are complementary. I’ve found this a useful framework – what am I good at, what energises me, where can I add value, and where can I add to what I already have to ensure I don’t slip into irrelevancy? The FastCompany article can be accessed here: https://www.fastcompany.com/91463709/extraordinary-life-comes-down-two-choices
Homilies and Preaching Resources
My response to the lectionary for the 1st of February is titled ‘Beatitudes – Counter cultural & Counter intuitive’ – reflecting on that best known part of the Sermon on the Mount – Matthew 5 vs 1-12. The homily can be engaged with here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT52_x24_5s
Gospel Conversations – out of the Dunedin Anglican Diocese. They host a conversation of 4 Theologians / Practitioners – until this year around the Gospel lectionary text for the coming Sunday. The site with all its options can be accessed here: https://www.calledsouth.org.nz/gospel-conversations/. Led by Michael Godfrey, they have returned in full force. At this point, rather than the Gospel text, they are focusing on the first (traditionally known as Old Testament) reading. For this coming Sunday the 1st of February, it’s the very well-known Micah 6 vs 1-8. It can be accessed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQDTfY53BnM
If you are interested in exploring having a crack at posting homilies/sermons, please contact me at yomyom@xtra.co.nz